Where I Stood
by leyton-is-lovee
Summary: “Do you ever wonder if we chose the right paths?” LP


**I don't own One Tree Hill, nor do I own "Where I Stood" by Missy Higgins.**

P.S. - - my friend slipped about a spoiler and although I was pretty angry, it inspired the last part of this. So I'm warning you ahead of time the last part is somewhat of a spoiler.

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Peyton stepped into the house as quietly as she could. She slipped off her heels and softly closed the door. The house was new, but she knew where just about every creak was. She delicately jumped over a dead spot in the floor and it landed her in the kitchen.

"Bout time you're home", the raspy voice caused Peyton to scream out.

"Jesus Brooke, what the hell are you doing up?" she asked as she tried to calm her nerves.

"Enjoying you ballerina impression", she teased from her spot on the couch. Peyton laughed less then enthusiastically and made her way to her best friend.

"So, what are you really doing up?" Peyton scanned the table and noticed a bottle of wine and the two glasses. Brooke leaned forward and poured some in the empty wine glass.

"I was waiting for you", she said simply, "wanted to make sure you made it home."

"Thanks roomie", Peyton said with a smile. She sipped her wine and curled her legs under her body.

"So, how was the recording session?"

"Really great", Peyton grinned. "Mia has an amazing voice. She's really something special."

"I'm glad it's working out. Victoria was about to have a coronary", she rolled her eyes and Peyton spoke.

"She's still giving you a hard time?"

"She doesn't feel that this place has any thing to off me; New York is home. That just shows how diluted she is. Tree Hill has always been home." Peyton nodded unsurely.

A moment of silence went by and Brooke bit her lip. She took a deep breath and spoke.

"Lucas came by today", Brooke said nonchalantly. Peyton sipped her wine and raised a brow.

"Okay?"

"Asked if you were home", she continued. Peyton sent her a glance that desperately begged her to stop talking. Brooke simply smirked.

"Wanna know what he asked me?" Peyton shook her head in protest.

"Peyton, he –" she thought about spilling all the beans, but opted for a more subtle approach. "He said he wanted to talk to you about something."

The blonde sent her a look and Brooke simply shrugged. Like she was going to tell her the real story.

-x-

Peyton walked into the old gym that held so many memories. Her green eyes took in every bit of her surroundings and images flashed through her mind. She heard the whistles and cat calls and rolled her eyes. Basketball players were all the same.

"Hey, show some respect", a deep voice boomed. Peyton smiled. They weren't all alike.

"Hey Nathan", she smiled and he wrapped her up in a hug.

"What brings you by Sawyer?" he asked with a curious expression.

"Actually I was looking for Lucas. Is he around?" she searched the bleachers and the pack of students she sent a smile and nod in Skill's direction, but saw no blonde.

"He's in the office", he said with a sideways glance. She nodded and walked away. Nathan furrowed his brows and shook his head. Those two would never get it right.

He sat at his desk mulling over a few plays he had thought out the other night. His eyes were squinted and he let out a puff of air every few minutes.

"Well, well, well", the voice caused his heart to stop and his head to snap up, "You know, I think the cheerleaders are going to have a lot more _pep_ this season", she teased. He blushed instantly; not at the thoughts of a bunch of sixteen year olds fawning over him, but because she had basically called him hot.

He turned his head in hopes of hiding the shade of pink he felt growing. "What brings you by?"

She walked into the office and took a seat in the chair across from him. "Umm, Brooke said you came by the other day", she waited for him to supply an answer.

His mind went into overdrive. What else had Brooke said? And didn't he specifically tell her not to say anything?

"I was just wondering how the recording was going now that Jason is out of the picture?"

"Oh", she tried to hide her disappointment. "Well, it's amazing. Mia is incredible; I can't believe I didn't hear it from the beginning."

He watched as her face lit up. She had gotten her passion back and he couldn't be more proud.

"That's really great", he said sincerely.

"It's like my dreams are finally coming true, ya know", she shrugged. Silence filled the air and neither of them dared to look at the other. She let out a breath and stood. "I'll see ya."

He watched her walk to the door and with her previous words still reeling in his mind he spoke.

"Do you ever wonder if we chose the right paths?"

She stopped in her tracks and slowly faced him. He wasn't asking her this. There was no way he was actually asking her this.

"Not really", she lied. He walked out from behind the desk and raised a curious brow.

"Not once did you think about what could have been?" he dared. She shook her head bravely. "I asked you to marry me and you've never once thought about it?"

She felt her anger rising in her veins. He had a lot of nerve. Flashes of that night flooded her mind and she did her best to stop the tears.

"I asked for a year! One year, Lucas and you couldn't give me that!"

"How was I supposed to know that you'd be ready in a _year_?" he questioned angrily.

"You should have trusted my love for you."

"Peyton I loved you so damn much. I was heartbroken when we broke up", he clenched his jaw and curled his fists. She scoffed and spoke.

"And making out with my BEST FRIEND helped ease that pain?" she asked shakily; she was trying to be strong, but it was too hard.

His face visibly paled and his mouth went dry. Brooke never called him to say that she had called. She raised a challenging brow; almost signaling that he was wrong. "I didn't call her the next day, but two days later I had a meltdown at work and called her hysterical crying. She said that since we were best friends again she didn't want us to have any secrets. She told me everything, Lucas! How the hell could you do that?"

"I was drunk and hurting", he offered lamely.

She nodded her head and spoke again. "How long have you and Lindsey been together?" she folded her arms in front of her. Once again he was speechless.

"Lucas, since we broke up three years ago, you've tried to sleep with my best friend and entered a long term relationship with your editor. I haven't had anything past a second date", she told him honestly.

They were close by this point and he couldn't help but notice how her face was flushed and her breathing was ragged. He couldn't think of any words that would argue her points. She was right. Whether she knew it or not she had called him out on hiding from his feelings. Before he could think about the repercussions he swooped down and captured her lips with his own.

She fought it at first, but slowly let herself give in. His arms wrapped around her waist and hers locked around his neck. His tongue begged for entrance and she obliged after a moment of hesitation. He moaned and her eyes snapped open. Reality set in and she roughly pushed him away.

"You son of a bitch!" she raised her hand and dragged it across his cheek.

She stormed out of his office and he knew he should have felt the sting she served him, but his mind was still reeling from the feeling of her body pressed against his.

-x-

They hadn't spoken in weeks. They avoided each other at all costs. It was a mixture of embarrassment and complete and utter shock at what they still felt for each other that kept them apart. She had sent him rent checks for her space in TRIC, but he would rip them up. He meant it when he said he didn't want anything from her.

He needed to clear his mind and the Rivercourt seemed like the perfect place. The ball dribbled against the blacktop. A calming effect overcame him and he blocked out the world. He almost didn't notice the shade of blonde that was sitting in the bleachers.

He let the ball dribble until it stopped and rolled into the grass. As he walked over to where she sat he said a silent prayer that this wouldn't end badly. She didn't get up when he sat down and she didn't start to yell at him when he stayed for a few moments.

"I hear congratulations are in order", she broke their almost comfortable silence.

He shut his eyes and let out a low groan. He could deny it, but she would never believe him.

"Thanks", he said less then enthusiastically.

She hugged her knees closer to her chest and let out a breath of air. "I should go, it's late."

"This is how it's gonna be?" he asked with a hurt voice.

"How else can it be?" her voice was begging for him to give her an answer.

"Not like this", his voice was broken. She opened her mouth, but closed it quickly. He figured the conversation was over as she shook her head. He stood from the bleachers and made his way down them. Her barely audible voice stopped his steps.

"You're the one I want next to me when my dreams come true and you're the one I want next to me if they don't. As long as I have you, nothing else matters. I think about it all the time, Lucas. At least once a day", she wasn't sure why she was being so open, but something inside of her broke.

"Peyton", he said breathlessly. His heart sunk at her words and he could feel his eyes burning. She ignored him and continued.

"Do you remember what I said at Nathan's pre-prom party? I told you I want what you wanted, I wanted to have everything with you Lucas and you couldn't wait. You told me you would wait forever if you had to, but when it came down to actually waiting . . . you just couldn't do it", she whispered and harshly wiped at the tears that trailed down her cheeks.

He listened to her quote all the words he had spoken to her and he realized what a fool he had been. He had broken her more then he ever even knew and now there was seemingly nothing he could do about it.

"Peyton, we were really great friends once and—"

She quickly cut him off. "Lucas, we were never _friends_", she mocked him. "There was always something that got in the way of us being that simple."

"I don't wanna lose you", he whispered. "We haven't talked in weeks and I miss being able to do that", his mouth had a mind of its own sometimes.

She faced him with hard eyes. Her mascara had run and her nose was red. "You kiss me and then propose to your girlfriend. Sorry that I wasn't eager to hang out", she spat out.

She was hurt and he couldn't blame her, but how the hell could he tell her the truth. That night he was looking at Peyton's ring and thinking of all the things he was going to tell her. He was going to end things with his editor girlfriend and he was going to give Peyton as much time as she needed. But he was going to marry her; he was going to wait forever if he had to, but it was going to happened. Until Lindsey walked in.

"Peyton . . ." She held up her hands and he stopped talking.

"Like I said, it's late", she whispered. "I have to be in the studio early and stuff so, congratulations again. Lindsey really is great, I'm sure you'll be happy."

-x-

He sat on the steps with his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. This was not how he saw his wedding day going. A shadow hovered over him and then sat on the step beside him.

"Some day", the voice mused.

"Yup", Lucas responded.

"I'm sorry", he said softly.

"I just don't get it. I don't get what any of that stuff has to do with her and me."

Nathan rolled his eyes and internally scoffed. Lindsey wasn't blind and he meant that in the literal sense.

"She's leaving", Nathan said quietly. Lucas shook his head.

"She's already gone."

"That's not who I'm talking about", Lucas faced the blue eyes that differed from his in shade and raised a brow.

"Nate . . ." he let his sentence hang and silently begged for him to stop. The younger Scott nodded his head. He stood up and began to walk down the stairs. He stopped on the last one and turned to speak to his brother.

"Remember in junior year when I told you that there was something in your heart that you were running from. Your heart's flawed Luke, you need to go and tell that girl how you feel or else your heart's gonna be flawed forever."

Lucas watched his brother embrace Haley and scoop his son into his arms. He wanted what they had so badly. Before he could blink he was on his feet and running to his house.

"Lindsey", he stated as he barged into his room and tried to catch his breath. She was furiously packing her bags and refused to acknowledge him. "Linds, talk to me", he begged.

"You wanna talk? Great, how about the fact that you still love _her_", she said with a wounded voice.

"I don't –"

"What kind of car does Peyton drive?" He stared at her with wide eyes and swallowed hard.

"A Mercury Comet."

She grabbed the ring off of his dresser and threw it at him. It bounced off of his tux jacket and landed to the floor. "The little boy who saw the comet", she said simply.

"Lucas, you wrote about a boy who saw a comet and his whole world changed. It gave his life meaning again."

He furrowed his brows and picked the ring up. He squeezed it into a fist. "Can you not talk about the book again, please?"

She pointed to his fist and let out a defeated sigh. "My Comet", she said simply.

-x-

She walked into his room and thanked the fact that he was asleep. She walked over to his bed, a bed that was once theirs and gently traced his jaw with her finger. She didn't know if Lindsey was still around and she didn't know if they were going to work things out, but she couldn't stick around to watch it.

The spotlight she put on Peyton was more then enough drama then she could handle. What did her car breaking down have to do with anything? After she ran from the alter Peyton retreated to the garden. Brooke eventually found her and helped her lick her wounds. She decided right there that she needed to leave. She had to put some space between herself and this town. These memories.

She placed a lingering kiss to his forehead. "Someday, Lucas", she whispered. It wasn't a goodbye. There would never be a definite ending between them. For now he needed to heal and he needed to gather his thoughts. She would wait, no matter how long it took. Because she still wanted everything with him.

She would wait forever if she had to.

He woke a few hours later. His eyes hurt and his throat was sore. His tux was wrinkled and his shoes had creases in them. His cell phone had ten missed calls and seven voicemails.

He groaned and rolled over. As he hugged the pillow next to him something slid down and landed on his arm. His eyes widened and for some reason he searched the room. It was empty, like a part of him expected it to be. He looked back over at the object that hit his arm.

The plastic case and round disk. He had seen it once before three years ago. He turned it over and read her neat handwriting. It was that very same c.d. except one word was crossed out and replaced by another.

**Songs to make you think of **_**US**_

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I'm not sure how much I like this. It came out differently in my mind. Let me know what you think!

Tuesday's episode!! Holy cow, there's too much to say. I mean from when she sent him the song to when they saw each other at her job to the c.d. she made him. Then the proposal and then the whole breakup itself, everything was beautifully done. The kiss on the forehead before he left was so heartbreaking. God, I love LP.

The Brucas kiss . . . I would be pissed BUT after it he was like I'm lost without her; her being Peyton, therefore I could deal with it. The fact that he gave Lindsey the lucky bamboo! Dear Lord. And she so did not care that they had broken up.

He still has the ring! The fact that he took a walk to see Peyton was lovely. I have to admit that I love Brooke, "You still love her", obviously. Now that she knows she needs to plot and do what she does best to get them together.

Naley finally kissed! It was so cute and timid and they are adorable.


End file.
